Continuing breastfeeding, despite the challenges, helped Hope move past the postpartum period.

Written testimony

Had I not had support postpartum, I don’t know, like I don’t know I would’ve stopped breastfeeding, and breastfeeding is, there’s a lot of pressure for women to breastfeed, I get that, that’s a whole other thing. I get it because I am a breastfeeding, like activist, okay, natural birth activist you know, type thing. I just think that there’s a lot of benefits there even though, yes, it’s a choice if you can manage it, I think there’s lots of benefits with the bonding and your sense of mothering and stuff. And I was, when I did not have breast milk, I mean I did, like my lactation consultant said; you have milk, don’t worry, there is some milk, because I’m like, I have no milk, I have no milk. And that reaction to not being able to feed your baby is very primal, you go crazy, you go mental, I can’t feed my baby, my baby’s going to starve, I can’t feed my baby.

We went out and got formula, you know, formula is not crack, formula is another way to feed your kid, I get it. My baby also would not latch on to any feeding device, so you know, she would not feed with the supplement at the breast, she would not feed finger feed, well we got a little bit with finger feed. But we had to end up using like a special needs, it was a disaster to try to get her to supplement, you know. But she needed some supplement . . . while I was getting my supply back. And so, I get that you know, you get as a woman, as a mother, if you can’t feed your baby, you need to feed your baby another way, I understand that and have a lot of compassion and understanding for women who want to breastfeed and then can’t. I could, because I knew what to do. And I had breastfed before and I have a lot of support for breastfeeding, had I not, there’s no way I would’ve.

And I think the breastfeeding relationship has helped me very, very much you know, move on past that postpartum period, and it’s a relationship that I don’t want to end any time soon, and I couldn’t – I’m so glad that it just, I could bridge that very, very difficult period.

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More content

• Seeking Help and Getting Diagnosis – Hope
  The intrusive thoughts made Hope scared to ask for help as she feared her baby might be taken away.
• Work, Finances and Mental Health – Hope
  Although it was financially challenging Hope extended her maternity leave because she felt she missed out on the first three months with her child.
• Relationships – Hope
  When Hope shared her worries with her husband that he might hurt the children, he accompanied her to find help.
• Support from Family and Friends – Hope
  Hope is thankful for having a supportive husband.
• Bonding – Hope
  Sometimes, the bond needed a little encouragement, and Hope believes that cuddling and skin-to-skin contact can strengthen that connection with the baby.
• Bonding – Hope
  With her second baby, Hope didn't feel an immediate explosion of joy after birth, and a few hours later, she experienced her first intrusive thought.
• Coping with Feeding – Hope
  Continuing breastfeeding, despite the challenges, helped Hope move past the postpartum period.
• Symptoms – Hope
  It was a huge relief for Hope when her doctor reassured her that intrusive thoughts can be normal and are treatable.
• Birth Experience and Mental Health – Hope
  After a good birth experience, Hope didn't feel the explosion of phenomenal joy she had expected.
• Before and During Pregnancy – Hope
  The first fear Hope experienced when she heard she was pregnant was that she then had to get off her medications.